In slightly more bizarre news, the [Wigan] Evening Post has reported that “dozens of footballs” were pilfered from Christopher Park, leaving the Latics lads to play training games with invisible balls. It’s been a rip-roaring success, as Conor Sammon has never scored so many goals in a single two-hour kickabout session. Kind-hearted locals have donated spare socks to be rolled up and covered in newspaper as replacements, while Robin Park Tennis Club have also given eight tennis balls to be used while the search for the ball thieves continues. Our ball skill hasn’t necessarily improved, but five members of the squad have been granted places on the ATP tour. “I’m already ranked British #8,” boasted Ben Watson of his Wimbledon chances.
Jesus Was a Wiganer, September 24 2011
Source: wigan.illarterate.co.uk

